I've never read the very popular young adult novel, Hunger Games, but my girlfriend did. She seemed to think it was pretty great. I haven't really read any novel in a long time. Sure I read, but mostly just books like "Fallin' Up" by Taboo and the first half of Penthouse Letters. So, I didn't really know what to expect when I was forced against my will to see the movie "Hunger Games," this past weekend. All I really knew was that it was a futuristic Orwellian tale about young teens killing each other for a government run reality tv show. I assumed it was a musical.
WARNING: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS
First let me say that I don't remember anyone's name. I don't remember the names of my friends or family. I sometimes even forget how old I am, or what year it is. Sometimes I forget to wear pants and then hang out in Arby's parking lots. So I'll just describe the characters the way I remember them.
The movie begins with me asking my girlfriend if she'd like some popcorn. I'm on a diet and trying to get back in baller shape, but I love movie theater popcorn more than anything. I ask for extra butter. I would drink that fake butter straight if they let me. I would rub it all over my body and then take 5 years of yoga lessons, so i could be limber enough to lick it off my own body.
Then the movie begins. We see a girl who is waaaaay better looking than that mongloid chick from the Twilight movies. That chick from the twilight movies looks like she would have a hairy bottom.
The movies takes place in a bleak future in which the government keeps a very tight control over everyone's lives and they have like a lotto thing in which a teenager from a district is selected to fight to death on a reality show. I don't know, read the book or something if you want the details, jeez, I'm not Wikipedia.
I really liked the movie. I normally don't enjoy seeing young people get killed (i'm still mad that they showed Ron's ex-girlfriend being eaten in the last Harry Potter,) but the filmmakers handled it in the best way I think they could. Also, Woody from Cheers is in it. Sadly, Norm was not : /
The movie definitely felt like a first chapter of a trilogy, which is a good thing. I can't wait to see the next one. I also can't wait to see my own taint after I finish doing that 5 years of yoga.
My only complaint is that for some reason giant weird looking dogs grew out of the ground to eat people. I don't know what that was all about, I was in the bathroom for like 5 minutes before that happened.
An embarrassing thing happened to me while I was in the bathroom. I walk in and look around to make sure I'm alone, that's important so I know whether or not i can release gasses while at the urinal. I didn't see a single person. So, I whip it out and pick it up off the floor and being to tinkle when I let out the loudest and longest fart and burp combo ever. It was epic. I rarely have gas, so when an event like this takes place, it's a special moment. Unfortunately right after I did this I heard someone make a loud disapproving groaning noise. there was a guy in the stall! I didn't see his feet. It was pretty terrible ... for him. And that's my review of The Hunger Games
I give it a 38 out of 43 stars!
The Hunger Games rated PG 13 (For killing kids and weird dogs)