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« Chris Brown | Main

Gay Marriage

Welcome to my first rant. What better way to kick of this segment of the website than writing about lesbians? Hot, sexy, scantily dressed lesbians. Lesbians all huggin' on each other and having tickle fights.  ... Also the plain old boring regular ones too, I guess. Boo! 

But it's not just the lesbians who want to get hitched these days, it's also the Adam and Steve's of the world. This somehow does not in anyway give me a boner. So I have to ask myself, if it doesn't give me a boner, should it be legal? This is my general criteria when determining the constitutionality of all laws. It's a tough question with no simple answer. 

Except for this answer ....


I'm kind of a conservative guy, I'm so conservative that I believe the government should do something it is pretty horrible at doing (no matter who is president or which party is in charge): staying out of everyone's lives! If the guy who shampoos my hair wants to marry the guy who shampoos my dog's hair, this does not in anyway affect my life whatsoever. 

If the woman who builds my shelves wants to marry the other woman who builds my other shelves, my life has not changed a single bit. 

If the cute girl who sells me coffee wants to marry the cute girl who jogs past my house every morning, and they want to have a honeymoon, and they want me to join them so they can have someone tape it, then this affects me greatly. 

But none of these things in any way, shape, or hot lesbian form, affect my future marriage, or my life in general, even a tiny little bit. 

I don't believe people choose to be gay. Especially if you are a guy. Being a gay kid in high school must really suck (and not like that.) Life is tough enough without chosing to be so very different from the majority. Not every gay kid can be on Glee or be a Scientologist. For most of them, it's probably a pretty hard load to take on. (Stop it! Not like that!)

Life is really tough. It's filled with many pittfalls and there are many people in our lives who will cause us a lot of pain. If any two people can truly love each other, then the more power to them. And maybe if some gay people would stop having parades where they touch each other's junk on floats, then Middle America will start accepting the larger population of regular, every day gay people's relationships. 

I know a lot of gay people. They look like everybody else and they do normal things. That's because, they are ... normal. Judge people by how creepy they are to you on Facebook, not by who they fall in love with. 

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