"Adult Baby" Gets To Keep YOUR Tax Dollars

After appearing on a Nation Geographic episode of Taboo, Stanley Thorton Jr. was exposed as collecting Social Security payments from the government. What is his disability? He's and "adult baby." No, for real. He claims he can not work because he is an adult baby. 

Watch:

We're paying for that diaper full of shit! 

You see after the episode aired, Sen. Tom Coburn called for a review of Stanley's SSI claim. After a review the Social Security Administration validated the claim! A claim that doesn't even come from Stanley's payroll taxes, but instead from the general fund, so those assholes are making YOU pay so Stanely Thorton Jr can buy more legos. And if that wasn't bad enough, Stanely is now demanding an apology from Sen. Coburn! What a baby. 

Maybe instead of occupying the people who work 12 hour days on Wall Street someone might want to have a drum circle outside the Social Security Administration building. It's not corporate fat cats sucking this country dry, it's fat guys in diapers. 

Facebook's Latest Changes Aren't The Worst Thing About Facebook

A lot of people on Facebook have been complaining about the latest changes to the site. They do this every single time there are changes to the site. Listen, I'm with ya, I don't like change either, right now I'm freakin' out over my coffee getting cold. I don't understand, it was hot just 20 minutes ago. I'm scared.

I remember what a fit people threw the last time there were changes, and the time before that, and the time before that. But then, people stopped complaining, because they got used to them. People probably don't even remember what the original Facebook site was like. I don't even remember if I wore pants yesterday. 

So, all this complaining every time Facebook decides to make a change and stay ahead of competing forces, is maybe, a little bit of a rush to judgement. However, there are things about Facebook that are complain worthy. 

Here's the list:

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George Lucas

George Lucas is at it again. The filmmaker mostly known for producing the classic film noir, Howard The Duck, also made some movies called "Star Wars." It was about Stars fighting in Wars. It was pretty much awesome and made me, and every other human being who grew up in the 80's, have a reason to live. But then, George Lucas made .... the prequels. The PREQUELS! If you enjoyed The Phantom Menace, you are a bad human being.  

I tried. I tried so hard to like The Phantom Menace, and the other two buckets of vomit. But it was not easy. Mostly because they were unwatchable disasters that never should have been made, and once made should have quickly been thrown into a large metal drum, and buried miles below the earth's surface, and then exploded with a nuclear bomb so that nobody could ever see them. "Two Girls, One Cup" had a better plot than those movies.

But Lucas decided that making horrible prequels that featured things that were really, really stupid like:

- Darth Vader built C3PO but then didn't recognize his robot later in life.

- The Universe is pretty much just Washington DC, except with more E.T.'s in the senate.

- Darth Vader used to be a total wuss. Could you have made a dumber character? He starts out as a slave. (By the way, in the Phantom Menace, child slavery is not a fight that the Jedi seem to be interested in. They just accept that shit.) Then because he's crazy good at piloting a flying gokart, he no longer has to be a slave. So he leaves his mom to go with two strange men, so she can stay back on desert planet and continue to be a slave. She should have practiced on the gokarts more. Then year later, teen Darth gets all emo because he's not accepted right away by Samuel L. Jackson. So because of that, he joins the dark side. JUST BECAUSE OF THAT! What?! Hell, my life has been harder than that! Where is my dark side?! I'll join! I used to think Darth Vader wore all black because he was a badass, now I realize it's because he's just emo.

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Barbara Walters Is Terrible

Barbara Walters, 154 years old, is a newscasting legend. She was the first to coin the phrase, "i'm braaaabraaa waaaaltuuuurs." 

Barbara Walters who brought us the view, Barbara Walters who made horrible celebrities, who we all hate, cry on her pre Oscar specials, Barbara Walters who wrote a book talking about how she had an affair with a married man, Barbara Walters who brought "truther," Rosie O'Donnell back to network television, is the same Barbara Walters who is also not-infamous for, but should be, giving a TOTAL PASS to Sean Connery for talking about beating women.

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Chris Brown

Two weeks ago at the MTV Video Music Awards, Chris Brown did some dancing, did some pretend singing, made Kurt Cobain roll over another few inches in his grave, and then flew around like Peter Pan. Like the Peter Pan who beat the crap out of Wendy. 

2011 VMA - Music - Chris Brown

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Gay Marriage

Welcome to my first rant. What better way to kick of this segment of the website than writing about lesbians? Hot, sexy, scantily dressed lesbians.  ... and also the plain old boring regular ones, boo. 

But it's not just the lesbians who want to get hitched these days, it's also the Adam and Steves of the world. This somehow does not in anyway give me a boner. So I have to ask myself, if it doesn't give me a boner, should it be legal? This is my general rule when determining the constitutionality of all laws. It's a tough question with no simple answer. 

Except for this answer ....

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