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Entries in sports (5)


Olympic Divers Look Crazy

 They look so graceful from a distance. But in reality, there is a lot of derping going on.

But when you realize that diving from a very high distance is scary, then you'll realize exactly what is really happening.

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5 Ways To Improve The Olympics


After watching an opening ceremony filled with a bunch of smoke stacks, sick kids jumping on beds to celebrate a health care system that has produced the world's worst teeth, and 50 Mary Poppins fighting a giant Voldermort puppet, I think it's time to revaluate the entire Olympics.  

So far, London is doing to the Olympics what Bobby did to Whitney. What's with all the empty seats? It's like going to a Joey Fatone solo concert. I don't even know why I go to those, I'm the only one ever there. And they are always in his house, and he acts all scared because he says he doesn't want to die and he's afraid of knives. I'm like, "it was not easy getting into this place again, so you will sing and dance and make magic happen!" Then he's all like, "please, just leave me alone, I'll do what you want, just put the knives down." I love those concerts. But anyway, I still have hope for the Olympics. But there need to be some changes.  

So here are 5 ways to improve the Olympics:

5. Dolphins - 

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Tennis Derps

I like tennis but I hate tennis players. They tend to be the biggest jerks on the entire Earth. They are just horrible. They demand complete silence from the crowds for their serve and then they make horrible noises that sound like me after I eat Denny's. 

Look at some of these jerks derping: 


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9 Year Old Skier Talks Herself Into Big Jump

This is pretty adorable. I remember when I was a 9 year old girl and I was about to go on my first big ski jump. And I'm a guy who has never been skiing. I have to stop drinking Four Loko. Watch this video and listen to this adorable young skier psyche herself up:

 I didn't even know women could ski. When did we change that law? I learned a lot today. 


Got (I Hope That's) Milk? 

It's that time again, time for America's annual unofficial sports holiday. The straight man's Oscars, the Super Bowl. With a classic matchup, a 5 hour pregame, and a 17 hour halftime show by 75 year old filmmaker, Madonna, this promises to be an amazing day in sports and entertainment. 

One of the things that people lose control of their bowels over, are all the expensive brand new commercials. Every year people rate the tv ads. Well this year one of the print ads is getting a lot of attention. 

This kind of makes me not want to drink milk. However, I just saw Justin Bieber, Andy Dick, and Chris Brown stocking up on 2 percent.

Oh come on. See what that ad is really saying after the jump:

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