Someone Made A Giant Creepy Realistic Bust Of Confucious

Because people out there want me to have constant nightmares and all the worlds problems have been solved, someone finally had the courage (and fake mustache hair) to make this thing:

This made me think. But thinking made me sleepy. So I took a little nap. But then when I woke I up I remembred some of my favorite quotes by Confucious that he totally didn't say. 

Confucious say: Itchy bottom when you sleep, smelly finger when you wake.

Confucious say: A man with his hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts. 

Confucious say: Man who drop watch in toilet, going to have crappy time.

Confucious say: Man who comes into money, have sticky financial situation. 

Confucious say: Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways, going to Bangkok.

He sure was wise. But also, started World War 2. Look at this creep:

Michael Noll's Words Of Wisdom

In my many long years I have experienced a great many things. I have gained some great wisdom during this time. From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak I fought with the Balrog of Morgoth. Until at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountain side. Darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time. The stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as a life age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I've been sent back until this post is done. 

Here are some of the life lessons I'd like to share with you:

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