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Entries in old lady (3)

Monday
Mar052012

The Sticky Buddy

I always thought a "sticky buddy" is what you called that thing law enforcement wont let me take out in public, but it's also a wonderful product to help keep your dog and old lady hair clean.

Monday
Dec122011

The Most Heart Warming Returning Cat After Tornado Video You'll See All Hour

"I have everything in the world now." 

I love that so much. I really do. It almost breaks my heart to remind her of what she doesn't have. 

- a home
- driveable car
- husband
- youth

But yeah, the cat's nice too. 

Click to read more ...

Tuesday
Nov222011

Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady To

I don't mean your "old lady," like your wife, or girlfriend. I mean an actual elderly woman. Someone 70 plus. You knew what I meant the moment you read it though. Because all you had to do was take a look back behind you at that messy bed and see what you brought home from Adult Daycare last night. Maybe you shouldn't have had all those gin and Metamucils. Maybe you should have made some better decisions. But it's too late, this is something that you have done and will have to live with. She'll have to live with it too, but not for very long. And the worst part is, you're going to totally do it again. 

 

So these are some suggestion for songs to set the right mood. Turn that stereo all the way up, because she doesn't hear so good anymore, and prepare to watch those Depends drop faster than the A-Bomb over Japan. An event she totally remembers happeneing when she was in High School. Oh hell yeaaaah. This is going to be hot, very dry, possibly some skin flaking involved, but hot.

You're going to need one of these, because after that she hears that song. You'll be dusting yourself off for weeks. 

Click to read more ...