Entries in news (4)
Today, the "Combating Terrorism Center" at West Point released letters written by Usama Bin Laden that were taken after his compound was sieged by Navy Seals. The letters depict a man who among other things, enjoyed MSNBC until they fired Keith Olbermann, and was very jealous of other Al Qaeda leaders.
But they reveal more than just that. We had some of the top Arabic translators that are members of the staff at the MN Institute, translate some of the letters to English. Here is an example of one. This is Bin Laden writing to one of his wives.
It's your snuggle boo, UBL, Unbelievably Big Lover, rofl, I'm just messin'. Seriously tho girl, I miss you. I'm so bored here. This compound sucks. The cable is always out, I don't have x-box, and everything smells like cheese. My other wives here are total bitches. They always be buggin me and are all like, "Usama we want to go outside, Usama we want to do more than just watch you watch Keith Olberman and jack-a-lack it, Usama we want to not be under constant threat of military drone attacks," sheesh. I'm all like "pipe down wives, if it wasn't for me you'd be in some middle school right now." Bitches don't even know how lucky they have it. They aint like you girl, youz my bottom bitch xoxoxo.
So, I did you a drawing. That's me killing the infidels. Lolz I drew bosoms on me cuz I'm soooo bored!
Anyways, I miss you. I wish something exciting would happen around here. But it's always quiet. Thinking about you. Thinking about you a lot at night too. Wink wink. hehe, i'm just playin.
It's ... it's ... adorable! I want like a thousand of these. I want to train them to crawl under my shoes and walk real fast so it looks like i'm sliding using magic. This is my only life goal.
According to the liberal media these little lizards have just been discovered on the island of Madagascar. A place I don't believe is real because I had a public education.
They are so tiny you probably just inhaled like million of them and didn't even know it. They look like less scaly Snookis.
Hey scientist, ever hear of a french manicure. Jeez.
Look at this little fella! He's adorable. ...
According to the news, the multi-billionaire creator of Facebook had his private Facebook pics revealed by a security glitch on Facebook. Pictures like these:
This is obviously the beginning of some kind of sick kinky billionaire, seven-some.
Here he is with his long time girlfriend. This is shocking. Who knew he was like this?
He's quite the hunter.