Five Big Lies Adults Tell You When You're A Kid
Mon, July 16, 2012
We are told so many lies when we are kids. By the time we're teenagers, we begin to suspect it. That's why teens go goth. Here are 5 of the biggest lies adults tell kids:
5. Santa Claus Gives You Presents -
And you wonder why your children are stupid, and grow up with crushed souls.
You spend the early years of life being told a wonderful lie. There is a magical old man who uses his magic powers and his magic reindeer to deliver awesome presents to you and all the other good kids all over the world. Wow, if that's possible than almost anything is possible. The entire world is like one big Harry Potter movie (I didn't say book, because I don't read,) that's fantastic!
There is nothing you can't do, nothing you can't become or accomplish because you live in a world that has actual magic! Then you turn 6 and you learn it was just your parents buying you the wrong G.I. Joes, not magical elves. First you are like, "well, at least I don't have to be pissed off at the elves anymore," then you are like, "oh yeah, and my parents and every adult in my life is a filthy liar."
Your soul is now crushed. You will never really believe any adult again, and you will grow up to be cynical and skeptical about anything and everything that seems to be amazing. That dirty old man next door didn't take away your innocence. Santa Claus did.
funny, kids, lies, michael noll, rant, true in horrible, michael noll, sad 
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