Kim Jong Il Jokes

I'll always remember where I was when Kurt Kobain was murdered by Courtney Love, and where I was when Osama Bin Laden was murdered by Courtney Love. I know for sure that I'll always remember this morning when I learned the news about the Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il. I was taking the Browns to the superbowl and eating chicken when the rotary phone rang and my assistant told me the sad news.

Kim Jong, truly was Ill. 

Kim Jong Il starved his people so much they had to run around in the shower to get wet.

Kim Jong Il starved women so much that if they got a yeast infection, they'd be a quarter pounder with cheese.

Kim Jong Il starved political prisoners so much, he could blindfold them with dental floss.

Kim Jong Il kept his people so impoverished, I saw one kicking a can down the road. I asked them what they were doing and they said, "moving." 

Kim Jong Il kept North Korea so backwards their TV's had only two channels, "On," and "Off."

Kim John Il was so fat I had to take two busses, and a train just to get on his good side. 

Kim John Il was so fat the horse on his Polo shirt was a real horse.

Kim Jong Il was so ugly he went to a haunted house and came out with a job offer.

Kim Johg Il was so ugly he went to the zoo and the monkeys said, "how the hell did you escape?"

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A Man Loses His Thumb And Replaces It With A Big Toe

Disgusting. All his door knobs smell like feet. 

Look at this:

He'd pick his nose but the shoe always gets in the way.

He fingered his girlfriend and gave her athlete's foot. 

He tried to hitchhike and instead became a Rockette.

I would include a link to the original story I found online, but I also had my thumb replaced with my big toe. So when I tried to type the internet address to the story on gizmodo.com, i accidentally drop-kicked my keyboard.