You'll Stop Petting Me When I've Had Enough

Sometimes when I'm secretly filming up ladies dresses, I catch the cutest things. 

My cat does something similar when it wants to be pet. It sits on my neck and breathes Fancy Feast breath in my face. Stupid cat. When my dog wants to be pet, it just stays awesome. 

Are You Excited To See Madonna?

My favorite part of her Super Bowl performance was when she broke her hip. I also liked how she did that slow motion thing. You know where all the dancers were going at normal speed and she was going way slower, almost like she was too arthritic to move without orthopedic equipment. That was hot. 

Conan sent a guy to the Super Bowl and here is the funny bit: 

Best Of Willy Wonka Meme

MNi Search Engine Queries

While most of the MNinstitute.com's viewers are lonely prison inmates, homeless people in public libraries, and voices in my head, we do on occasion have other readers. They often find the site by searching for something interesting on Google, and somehow come here. 

Here are some of the very real things that people have typed into search engines and eventually found this website:

-  gross pig
-  hitler twins
-  harassment
-  violent j
-  greg gumbel
-  best friend animals
-  smurfs butts
-  monkey-horses
-  fire fart cat
-  retarded drunk monkey
-  people on the internet
-  why does my dog give me a boner
-  the duggars sexy

I couldn't be more proud : /

Wacky Animal Car Encounters

There are animal sanctuaries all over the U.S. where you can drive through to see exotic animals from the comfort of your 1997Ford Taurus. My favorite thing about it, is that you can get really close to the animals while being comfortable in your own air conditioned environment. And since it's your car, you can be as drunk as you want. 

Here are some wacky animal videos of wacky animals being wacky:  

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Be Warned Assailants, This Is Also How I Fight

Unfortunately this is also how it uses the litter box.

Double unfortunately, this is also how I use the toilet.

Makeup Prank On Women In A Mall

This is much funnier than when I "prank" women in the mall. Well, not really so much "in" the mall as outside, at night, in the parking lot just outside their car. Tomato, tomoto.