Tyrannosaurus Rex Was So Stupid!

If you are like me, you are in my chair. 

I like dinosaurs, always have, and I used to like the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Until I read a recent article about him and learned he was a stupid jerk with feathers. What do you call a Tyrannosaurus Rex in San Francisco? A dino sore ass. 

Tyrannosaurus Rex so stupid he went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

Tyrannosaurus Rex so stupid, I told him we need to kill time, so he went in the living room and started stabbing the clock.

Tyrannosaurus Rex so stupid, after a robber stole his TV, he ran after him yelling, you forgot the remote!

Tyrannosaurus Rex so stupid he went to the Super Bowl and brought a big spoon.

Tyrannosaurus Rex so stupid he tripped over a cordless phone.

Tyrannosaurus Rex so stupid he got fired from the M&M factory because he threw away all the "W's." 

Look at this jerk the way he really was:

haha, what a jerk! Nice feathers, jerk! You can't even fly, you just look like a idiot!

Look at some of these other pics of the jerk Tyrannosaurus Rex being a pansy and a bad father probably:

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T-Rex Was Fat!

First Jurassic Park taught us that tyrannosaurus rex were not slow moving tail dragging giant lizards. They were warm blooded, fast hunters with tails sticking out for balance. This made all of my old dinosaur toys completely useless. 

This turned out to not be accurate. 

Then more recently, scientists decided that tyrannosauruses actually were covered in feathers and looked a lot like this:

Horrible.

Now scientist using lasers have determined that the T-Rex was also a T-Mess. Using new fancy science stuff, the science stuff people (i went to public school) claim that the tyrannosaurus weighed about 9 tons. That's 30% more than previously thought. To put that in perspective, that's nearly 5 Rosie Odonnells. 

Using the latest technology, the scientists were able to created a more realistic image of what the prehistoric carnivore really looked like. 

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