The 5 Kinds Of People That Are Destroying Western Civilization
Wed, April 18, 2012 5. People Who Don't Use Turn Signals -
I've noticed lately that people have stopped raising their hand a full two inches from their iPhone and Taco in order to turn on their car's turn signal and let me know which way they are going. Oh, that's fine. No problem. Of course before turning, they break first. Breaking means that the cars behind them have to suddenly break as well, even though they had no reason to anticipate having to do so. But the people who don't use turn signals don't seem to care about this. This is the most important thing in the entire world and anyone who refuses to use their turn signal is worst than Hitler and I hope they get a brand new disease, a disease that is so rare it will have to be named after them. USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL! It's easy, and unlike your schwartz while watching "Dance Mom's" .... it's NOT hard!
Use your turn signal!!!!
4. Hipsters -
Look, I know you want to feel cool. I know you want to fit into some a group. I know you want to feel popular among a very small social group. I know that you suck really bad at sports, and I know you aren't smart enough to work for a tech company. It's ok. I understand. I myself once owned a pair of Cross Colors jeans. But I was 12 and I didn't know any better. You are in your 20's and 30's and following trends so closely that it just looks to your parents and myself like you are pathetic and desperate.
You really don't look very cool to anyone outside of your circle. I know you might think that all the regular people are jealous of your style and your American Apparel half shirt, the one that already comes with the pit stains, but really ... nobody is jealous of you.
Normal people just kind of think you are a followers who are so desperate to fit in that you'll dress like a complete jackass so that the other jackasses will approve of you. It doesn't seem like you are individuals, or interesting people. It just seems like you don't wash yourself as much as you should, and are completely empty inside.
Try being yourself, no matter what that is. Whatever it is that you really are, just be that. If you do, and you don't care what people think, eventually you'll be cool. Because the only truly cool people in this world, are those who don't compromise themselves for the sake of popularity. Of course if deep down you suck as a person in every way, nobody will like you if you are yourself. So in that case, dress like a weirdo so that girls who refuse to shave their legs or guys who refuse to wear deodorant will want to make out with you.
3. The Kardashian Sisters -
Q: What happens to people in this country who have no discernible skills, no talents, no signs of intelligence, no morals, no class, and no normal pants that fit?
carson daly, funny, hipsters, rant in michael noll 
