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« Picture Of The Day | Main | Olympic Divers Look Crazy »

Shut Up, I'll Eat Whatever I Want!

My girlfriend is a vegetarian. She's very healthy. She never feels like her body is rotting. Mine feels like that all the time. But she has never once told me what I should or shouldn't eat. (Except if you include when I want to eat an entire box of crackers and wash it down with a bottle of 3 dollar wine.)

For my own health and "ethical" reasons, I have changed my diet over the years. I eat less red meat than I used to, and I won't eat a few animals because I really like them. Baby cows and puppies. Both are delicious, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

It used to be that people just ate the foods they wanted or could afford to eat and went about living their own lives. But now, many people feel it's their self-righteous duty to tell you what you should and should not eat. They read a pamphlet and saw some pictures online, so they feel they are now food experts.

I once saw someone on facebook post a pro-abortion rights picture, then post a picture of a mutilated chicken with the caption, "meat is murder," followed up by an image of a b.s. chart claiming to show the unhealthiness of non-vegan makeup. Then they posted 3 pictures of themselves smoking and drinking. 

We can all be hypocritical at times, but shut your filthy patchouli stinking mouth the next time you think it's a good idea to lecture me or anyone else about eating an ice cream cone! 

And it's not just the annoying busy body losers on facebook who have NOT A SINGLE BETTER DAMN THING TO DO THAN TO TRY AND RUN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES, it's also the inept politicians like the horrible mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg who feel it's their duty to use their power to control what people eat and how they live their lives.  

First of all midget, you have become the tiny poster boy of the "nanny state." A society in which every little decision is made by a tiny billionaire who thinks he knows better than you. Recently the little fella banned large sugary drinks. Shut up dwarf. Work on the crime rate and lowering NYC tax rates and stop dictating what people are allowed to consume. It's none of your business! Just return the "one ring" to the fiery depths of Mt. Doom and leave people alone! 

If you have a problem eating meat or meat products, I understand. I really do. Factory farms produce most of the meat consumed in this country and they are pretty terrible places. Animals are treated very badly and I hope that changes over time. I love animals, I really do. I do not love all animals equally because that's stupid. Chickens are not the same as cows and cows are not the same as horses and dogs. That's just the way it is. If you choose to be a vegetarian, or a vegan, I really do respect that. It's not easy. It's often more expensive and you don't get to eat bacon. So good for you. I mean that. But I am not you, and I eat bacon. I don't criticise your choices, so don't criticize mine. 

And stop posting pictures of mutilated animals on facebook! It's not making a single person decide to not eat animals! But it is making a lot of your "friends" hate you and unsubscribe from your posts. Some of you are married and have diamond wedding rings. How'd you like it if I posted pictures of the children mining for those blood diamonds? Some of you post from computers and phones made in China, a country that allows Child labor and forced abortions. Want me to show you pictures of those things?


So get off your high horse hippie, and let me eat it.  

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