Medieval Fair Turtle

I recently went to a medieval fair. I'm not a nerd, but I do like corsets. However, if I saw this turtle at the medieval fair, I would actually stop looking for nipple slips and follow this the entire day!

There are several reasons why this video is the greatest thing ever ....

1. Turtles are amazing. They have their own house. Inside of the turtle shell is a full kitchen, living room, half bath, and a room strictly reserved for sado masochism.

2. Turtles aren't real. This is just theory right now, but the MN Institute is hard at work proving it. Turtles are just a figment of our imagination. Like Jennifer Aniston's appeal and gonorrhea. 

3. It's a turtle pulling a little cart! Hello? You don't even have to be high to realize that is incredibly awesome at all times. Imagine that walking around in your house. With beer and chicken wings in the little cart. It's just walking around your living room while you have a fancy party. The fanciest parties have beer, chicken wings, and turtles.